“I cannot imagine seeing the invisible, but I can imagine God hiding Himself behind everything in sight. For a lonesome man, there is something infinitely homey and comforting in feeling God so close, so everywhere! Nowhere one turns is away from friendship, for God is smiling there.” -Frank Laubach in Letters by a Modern Mystic (affiliate link below)
I sat down determined I was going to finish at least ONE of the 12 books I am currently reading. For some undecided reason, twelve books going at one time is the limit of my acceptable open reading. This doesn’t count university reading I will be doing, mind you. This is my self-imposed limit on personal reading. Arbitrary. Ridiculous. Amusing. Me.
Anyway, I sat down to read and just a couple pages in read the quote above and was stopped in my tracks. I had to sign on and share these thoughts with you. This is, afterall, what I just said (in my revised about page) I was going to be doing… writing you just as I would if I were emailing you directly.
While I was meditating this morning, I found my mind wandering and my thoughts going into defense mode. This is a the habitual default mode for me. I will think over some past conversation then imagine the next interaction that could happen… you know, of the infinite possibilities that exist in the universe because I am able to decide the likely one, then mount my defense about whatever the person had to say to me. While doing this, the question came to me, “Where is this person listening to your defense?”
The most logical answer to the question is to name some location I know that person to be, but that wasn’t the question. The question wasn’t getting me to consider where the person is with whom I had the original encounter. The question was aimed at getting me to consider where the person I was talking to in my imagination was located right then. The answer of course being in my mind.
Where else could someone in an imaginary scene be, but in the mind of the one doing the imagining?
It seemed so obvious. And as obvious as it was, the next logical thing to realize was that I was sitting there creating a vibration based on an imagined situation that may or may not ever happen. In all likelihood, the “may not” is far more likely. So why? Why – Why – WHY?
Do you ever have those “WTF are you doing moments?” This was definitely one of them for me.
Why in the world would I want to spend my time imagining a scenario where I had to defend myself? Why would I spend my precious time imagining this shit when I know it is creating real vibrations… real vibrations that lay foundations for future experiences? I mean JEEZ! Do I want more real life situations where I am in defense mode? WTF?! WTF?! WTF?!
A ministerial doctorate and this is how my mind runs. <—– That statement needs the smacking my head emoji.
So I stopped myself and determined to use my time more wisely.
I thought of the person to whom I was mounting my defense and examined how I could go on thinking of a version of enemy or I could key in to the One Consciousness the person and I have in common. I could send loving thoughts toward that Oneness. I could revel in the light of that Oneness and I could put out beautiful, rich, wondrous vibrations. And somehow in actually doing this, I knew that the vibrations I landed upon, those utilizing the power of my heart, were powerful forces for the good I wanted to put out and were reaching past my imagination to the physical person upon which I had modeled all these imaginations.
Talk about overcoming ego! Yay for me. Yay for All That Is! Yay that is, until later in the day when I started thinking about another person and cycling through this again.
That second person is actually why the above quote meant so much to me. As I thought about a former friend, I couldn’t help feel the loneliness. She is someone who has been such a major part of my life that having her absence around the holidays stings a lot. Because of that, I thought about contacting her which brought up the potential conversation and led me right down the path of defense.
I was quicker this afternoon in picking up on it than i had been this morning. I asked myself what it was this imaginary scenario was mirroring for me. What was it really showing me? And in this, I walked away knowing that I may not ever find the friend I am looking for in the original person, but I can imagine the scenario where I get to see God hiding behind the memory. With that I can truly say I understand, “Nowhere one turns is away from friendship, for God is smiling there.”
I need be lonely no more.
Now I am going back to my reading. I am GOING to finish that book! Until next time, be well and know I am sending love your way!